A three in One friend "A mother, a sister & a daughter"

Years ago I knew how to manage and live without a long-term friend. Independency was always so important to me and I wasn’t ready to have a friend whom going to take away my freedom in being alone for a while whenever and wherever I want. 

Maybe my experiences with friends weren’t that good. I used to have friends whom thought of me as their one and only property. Seeing me dealing with other people was considered a crime that I have to be punished for. Another category was those so-called friends but in fact they stab you from behind and are jealous of whom you are. Of course I had the honor also to meet the kind of people who use their friends in having their jobs done. There are for sure many and many others so bottom of line I was never lucky in finding a good friend along my life.

But now I can say out loud and with the highest volume of my own voice that I have a friend that is now categorized as “no-longer existing strain of friends”.

You know that kind of a friend they tell about in stories. The one that’s always by your side, knows how to keep a secret, cares for you & can turn into a listening machine when you need to talk. A friend that feels comfortable only when you are okay & considers your problems as her own.

I have to admit that I consider myself lucky to have such an amazing friend.

To me she is a mother, sister and a daughter;

A mother, because as long as she exists in a place, regardless of how much scary it is, I feel safe & when I see her coming, it’s like a daughter who finally find her mom after being lost for days. She cares for me more than for herself. When I’m not okay I can catch worry filling her eyes.

A sister, because I can almost tell her everything about me. She knows exactly how I feel and answers lots of my question. I trust her unconditionally with my secrets because I’m sure she can keep them.

A daughter, because sometimes I feel responsible for her. I try to give her advices as much as I can. When she is stressed, I feel it’s my duty to cheer her up. Whenever I can, I try to be there when she needs me.

Describing my friend needs years and years. She helped me out through my toughest of times, was there for me when I needed her the most. I discovered a whole new me when I knew her.

It’s true that I may disagree with her. Sometimes we get mad from each other though it doesn’t last long. She also doesn’t like some things about my way of thinking xD

But what differs here from other friendships is understanding. We deal with our differences wisely.

And for all that I thank her from the deepest of my heart,

because in the end, “that’s what friends are for”. 

May God keep us together for as long as we shall live.

Dedicated to my Dear friend Mona “,)

P.S. I can almost swear that whoever said “A friend in need is a friend indeed” must’ve known you!!

Thank you since thanks to you !!

 I've never believed in Love!!

Yes it’s the truth... Never believed in it... Always thought of love as weakness and lot’s of suffering... Maybe it’s because I’ve listened to many love stories through out my short period of life and they usually end up sadly & rarely finish with the happily ever after…

I can’t deny I admired many… respected few... Liked some but never did actually love with every single letter of the word…Never felt the way people feel when in love!!

And then it hit me!! 

Yes it literarily hit me... I can’t find a better word to describe what happened!!
It was totally like an accident... when you got hit by a car... you can’t remember how or when you’ve been hit … But you do remember the feeling.

It’s totally the same in my case; I loved a guy whom I’ve never spoken with more than 2 minutes maximum. I don’t know a lot about him… his character, personality, what he likes, what he doesn’t, his favorite food or drink … and many other... All I knew was that I totally fall in love with a considered-partial stranger whom I don’t even know if I have a chance to get to know him or even if he does know me or have a single feeling for me…

You know these issues did annoy me for almost 3 years but then I came to find few conclusions out of every single situation I’ve experienced through the whole story;
First: You needn’t be loved in return ..

The action of Love is always enough to make you happy as long as it doesn’t distract your train of life... As long as it doesn’t cause you much pain or make you over-think 24/7 … as long as you’re totally convinced from the inside out that loving someone is enough to heal your heart and make it purer.
Second: Build your own impression...
Never depend on other’s impression on someone you love in building your own. People differ in judging one another, that’s why you should get to know someone personally to carefully well judge and build a good impression away from other’s influence.

Third: Never expect…

Expecting is what makes people think love is a big trap and doesn’t worth the risk... Though it never been love that’s bad or so, it has always been expectations. Love itself is a gift, but when it comes together with high expectations it turns life up side down.
So love with little hope but never expect & have faith in god's judgment .. and whatever the ending is, I am sure it will just perfectly fit you :)

Well I’ve concluded more for sure but those were the most noticed ones.

And so I decided to write this note … the “thank you since thanks to you” to express my feelings towards that special guy and at the same time {thank him} since {thanks to him} my whole life was changed.

So here I go:
Dear special guy,
1- Thank you since thanks to you I’ve discovered a whole new smile of mine that I’ve never known about before you… And it’s the most beautiful one amongst all my smiles.

2- Thank you since thanks to you I’ve known how it feels to fall in love.

3- Thank you since thanks to you I finally found out the meaning of butterflies in my stomach … and felt it too.

4- Thank you since thanks to you I knew how to have faith in the almost faithless.
5- Thank you since thanks to you I finally got to know my heart and even offered him a job other than just keeping me alive.

6- Thank you since thanks to you I’ve done things I’ve never done before… still didn’t pass my limits … but I've believed impossible is nothing.
7- Thank you since thanks to you I knew how it feels to smile a long lasting smile without a reason.

8- Thank you since thanks to you I love myself when looking at you.

9- Thank you since thanks to you I had a beautiful reason to wake up in the morning.

10- Thank you since thanks to you I knew how beautiful it feels to have someone to pray for.

11- Thank you since thanks to you I knew ultimate happiness.

12- Thank you since thanks to you I discovered my favorite hobby.
13- Thank you since thanks to you I wouldn't have been writing at all.
14- Thank you since thanks to you I was reborn every day when i see you smiling.
15- Thank you since thanks to you I felt the most indescribable feeling ever.

I guess I would use much more papers if I want to complete the list, because there are an uncountable number of thanks yet to be said.

What I want to say is I loved that person without even knowing it. I felt that we were somehow connected. Even without speaking, I always felt like I can understand his silence … maybe I’m wrong but it’s what I did feel.

Can you imagine being someone’s everything when you don’t even know it? 

That guy is my everything and I doubt it, if not sure, that he knows nothing.


But I appreciate the feelings I felt, the smiles i smiled and every moment passed because there are people out there who waited a lifetime for moments like these.


The beauty of this story that i lived almost with only myself will never fade away, 
because "everything changes but beauty remains" .