Thank you since thanks to you !!

 I've never believed in Love!!

Yes it’s the truth... Never believed in it... Always thought of love as weakness and lot’s of suffering... Maybe it’s because I’ve listened to many love stories through out my short period of life and they usually end up sadly & rarely finish with the happily ever after…

I can’t deny I admired many… respected few... Liked some but never did actually love with every single letter of the word…Never felt the way people feel when in love!!

And then it hit me!! 

Yes it literarily hit me... I can’t find a better word to describe what happened!!
It was totally like an accident... when you got hit by a car... you can’t remember how or when you’ve been hit … But you do remember the feeling.

It’s totally the same in my case; I loved a guy whom I’ve never spoken with more than 2 minutes maximum. I don’t know a lot about him… his character, personality, what he likes, what he doesn’t, his favorite food or drink … and many other... All I knew was that I totally fall in love with a considered-partial stranger whom I don’t even know if I have a chance to get to know him or even if he does know me or have a single feeling for me…

You know these issues did annoy me for almost 3 years but then I came to find few conclusions out of every single situation I’ve experienced through the whole story;
First: You needn’t be loved in return ..

The action of Love is always enough to make you happy as long as it doesn’t distract your train of life... As long as it doesn’t cause you much pain or make you over-think 24/7 … as long as you’re totally convinced from the inside out that loving someone is enough to heal your heart and make it purer.
Second: Build your own impression...
Never depend on other’s impression on someone you love in building your own. People differ in judging one another, that’s why you should get to know someone personally to carefully well judge and build a good impression away from other’s influence.

Third: Never expect…

Expecting is what makes people think love is a big trap and doesn’t worth the risk... Though it never been love that’s bad or so, it has always been expectations. Love itself is a gift, but when it comes together with high expectations it turns life up side down.
So love with little hope but never expect & have faith in god's judgment .. and whatever the ending is, I am sure it will just perfectly fit you :)

Well I’ve concluded more for sure but those were the most noticed ones.

And so I decided to write this note … the “thank you since thanks to you” to express my feelings towards that special guy and at the same time {thank him} since {thanks to him} my whole life was changed.

So here I go:
Dear special guy,
1- Thank you since thanks to you I’ve discovered a whole new smile of mine that I’ve never known about before you… And it’s the most beautiful one amongst all my smiles.

2- Thank you since thanks to you I’ve known how it feels to fall in love.

3- Thank you since thanks to you I finally found out the meaning of butterflies in my stomach … and felt it too.

4- Thank you since thanks to you I knew how to have faith in the almost faithless.
5- Thank you since thanks to you I finally got to know my heart and even offered him a job other than just keeping me alive.

6- Thank you since thanks to you I’ve done things I’ve never done before… still didn’t pass my limits … but I've believed impossible is nothing.
7- Thank you since thanks to you I knew how it feels to smile a long lasting smile without a reason.

8- Thank you since thanks to you I love myself when looking at you.

9- Thank you since thanks to you I had a beautiful reason to wake up in the morning.

10- Thank you since thanks to you I knew how beautiful it feels to have someone to pray for.

11- Thank you since thanks to you I knew ultimate happiness.

12- Thank you since thanks to you I discovered my favorite hobby.
13- Thank you since thanks to you I wouldn't have been writing at all.
14- Thank you since thanks to you I was reborn every day when i see you smiling.
15- Thank you since thanks to you I felt the most indescribable feeling ever.

I guess I would use much more papers if I want to complete the list, because there are an uncountable number of thanks yet to be said.

What I want to say is I loved that person without even knowing it. I felt that we were somehow connected. Even without speaking, I always felt like I can understand his silence … maybe I’m wrong but it’s what I did feel.

Can you imagine being someone’s everything when you don’t even know it? 

That guy is my everything and I doubt it, if not sure, that he knows nothing.


But I appreciate the feelings I felt, the smiles i smiled and every moment passed because there are people out there who waited a lifetime for moments like these.


The beauty of this story that i lived almost with only myself will never fade away, 
because "everything changes but beauty remains" .